Square Enix lived up to its reputation for terrible game names during the July Nintendo Direct, but somehow an action-RPG titled The Adventures of Elliot: The Millennium Tales wasn’t the most absurd part of the showcase. That came when the publisher revealed the name of the world in which the HD-2D adventure takes place: “Philabieldia.”
They even made some poor presenter say the name out loud. “This is Philabieldia, a continent overrun by beast tribes,” she said with gusto. Square Enix has really come out of the gate swinging on Switch 2. Bravely Default: Flying Fairy, an HD remaster of Bravely Second: End Layer, was a launch game for the new console. Now it’s back with The Adventures of Elliot, which already has a demo free to try on the eShop.
But “Philabieldia” takes it to another level. As a native of the City of Brotherly Love’s greater metro area, I feel personally attacked. And confused. Are we being trolled or are the Square Enix localizers for real right now? I am not the only one with questions.
Maybe the existence of Philabieldia shouldn’t come as a surprise from the company that once gave us an Xbox 360 game called Infinite Undiscovery, but I for one think Square Enix needs stop releasing any new franchises until we can get to the bottom of what’s really going on. I mean, it’s not just that Philabieldia looks like someone said “this edible ain’t shit” moments before trying to explain who won the Super Bowl last year. It’s also, on its own, completely divorced from the real-world context, just an awful thing to try and pronounce.
The Adventures of Elliot: The Millennium Tales looks like a cool game even if it doesn’t sound like one. I can’t wait to meet its final boss who’s probably a boxer named Ricky or something.
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