Aunt Becky hinted back in the spring that she still has the fastball
The free agency market has officially heated up, folks.
There are moments in pop culture history and then there’s the news that Lori Loughlin, Aunt Becky from Full House, is headed for divorce, and she’s sad, according to a riveting report from the Big Js over at US Weekly.
Bad girl Lori, 61, who already went through a criminal life phase where she went to prison in a college admissions scandal, is reportedly telling friends that she and soon-to-be-ex-husband Mossimo Giannulli took a break from each other, but it didn’t help.
Lori Loughlin is a prime candidate for ‘rebound sex,’ based on the definition of rebound sex from Psychology Today. (Photo by Olivia Wong/WireImage)
Lori is said to be “devastated.”
I know, I know, I know…you want to rescue Aunt Becky from this terrible situation. Get in line, cowboy.
“They will not reconcile — there is currently no chance — and will ultimately divorce,” a source tells US Weekly.
The Full House cast in 1993. Aunt Becky appeared in 152 episodes over the show’s eight seasons. (Photo by ABC Photo Archives/Disney General Entertainment Content via Getty Images)
Lori Loughlin arrives at the An Unforgettable Evening at The Beverly Hilton on April 28, 2025 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Steve Granitz/FilmMagic)
Here’s where things get interesting. The source notes that Mossimo has been dating while Lori has yet to let loose.
Guys, you know what that means: Indiscriminate sex.
Revenge sex.
Post-college football RV sex. One-night stands.
Aunt Becky is about to go nuts.
Remember, Lori Loughlin might be somewhat of a pain in the ass. Mossimo reportedly viewed Lori as the “driving force” behind payments up to $500,000 in bribes to get their two daughters into the University of Southern California.
The scandal ultimately derailed business deals and the couple even resigned as members of the Bel-Air Country Club.
Lori Loughlin attends an Unforgettable Evening at The Beverly Hilton. (Photo by Leon Bennett/Getty Images)
Rebound sex stats tell us odds are Lori Loughlin will go nuts in the sack quickly after getting over this divorce devastation
According to Psychology Today, rebound “sex is most likely to happen within about a month following a breakup.”
That means Lori is one night out with the girls and three drinks away from letting go of her frustrations with Mossimo, who she has to believe has been out banging 30-somethings.
“Research shows that people are much more likely to engage in it if they had been left behind,” Psychology Today’s report continues. “This makes sense, because having a partner leave you (especially if you didn’t see it coming) can be highly distressing and cause a serious hit to your self-esteem. As a result, this tends to prompt more coping behaviors, such as rebound sex.”
Conclusion: If you happen to find yourself at some Hollywood hotspot this weekend suckin’ down vodkas and Aunt Becky walks in, you better be unloading all the best lines in your playbook.
Shoot your shot. Now is the time. Lori Loughlin is on the market.
