I’m a Therapist With Alopecia—Let’s Not Discuss Kate Middleton’s Hair

Wow, they look different. I wonder what happened?

I am sure you’ve had this thought many times in your life—looking at a celebrity, someone you know, or someone you just met. I understand why: It is hard to resist the impulse when you notice something novel or unusual.

On Wednesday, images of Kate Middleton sporting a new blonde look surfaced on social media, and while many websites and Instagram accounts took to praising her lighter locks and reposting the photos, the comments sections of these posts told a different story. They were flooded with questions about Middleton’s health—in 2024, she announced she had cancer—and wondered, aloud, whether she might be wearing a wig or how she managed to have more hair after treatment.

Our society has a longstanding problem where people believe it is acceptable to comment on another person’s body. With the rise of the body positivity movement, the social consciousness became (somewhat) more aware that these comments are unacceptable and harmful. But what the online conversation about Middleton shows is that we’ve quickly forgotten that someone’s hair—or hair loss—is just like their size or skin. Commenting on someone’s hair is no different than commenting on any other part of their body, and by doing so, you are increasing their risk of body image injury and body consciousness. (And frankly, it’s none of your business.)

I started losing my hair at age three and have been bald since I was six due to alopecia areata. I have often been at the receiving end of these types of thoughts (That girl is BALD!), which quickly turn into assumptions (She must be sick) and, of course, the occasional rude comment (That’s gross, put a wig on). My experience with hair loss is largely what inspired my career as a therapist who specializes in body image. As a child, I learned quickly that being visibly different meant people felt entitled to comment on my body and make bold assumptions about my health.

Hair can be closely tied to one’s identity. Aside from the fact that people tend to identify others by describing their hair color or length, many use their hair as a form of self-expression. For some, hair is part of their culture. It’s often central to how people recognize themselves, which can make losing your hair for any reason traumatizing. The changing image in the mirror, bald patches emerging overnight, the braids that connected to your heritage no longer being an option, and the fear of it never coming back are just a small glimpse into what someone might go through. Research confirms what people with hair loss already feel: A meta-analysis of 5,553 patients found that nearly half experienced anxiety disorders as a result of their hair loss condition. How cruel that on top of all that, people feel entitled to an explanation. I am sure you would agree that if you experienced a traumatic event, whether cancer or hair loss, you would want the privacy to navigate such a life-altering situation. Public figures deserve no different as it relates to their body and health.