Even with a partner or loved one that you see everyday, sometimes it’s hard to recognize when they’re struggling — whether it’s with chronic stress from their routine, mental health concerns like depression, or even resentment in their relationships. Their habits, behaviors, and personality may have shifted slightly, but it can be difficult to piece together what they’re feeling if they’re not explicitly expressing it.
Sometimes, pieces of our daily lives — like our home or the cars we drive — can be more insightful for partners and friends. In fact, if you notice these things in your wife’s car, she’s struggling more than she admits. Like our bedrooms or living rooms, we spend a ton of time in our cars, and when we’re struggling, this might be one of the first places to show it.
If you notice these 11 things in your wife’s car, she’s struggling more than she admits
1. Tons of trash or clutter
Motortion Films | Shutterstock
According to a study from the journal Neuron, visual clutter alters the flow and cognition of information in our brain. So, if we’re constantly surrounded by clutter, trash, and visual overwhelm, our brain is inevitably going to struggle with otherwise basic tasks like concentration, memory, and communication.
On a deeper level, this clutter can make internal processes like emotional regulation more difficult. You’re also operating from a baseline level of stress, anxiety, and overwhelm that visual clutter cultivates.
So, if you consistently notice these things in your wife’s car, she’s struggling more than she admits — not only because it’s clear she doesn’t have the time or energy to clean, but because the clutter itself sets her up for a number of concerns.
2. An overdue oil change or engine lights
MAYA LAB | Shutterstock
Many Americans are consistently putting off car maintenance and home repairs, not only because of financial struggles and uncertainty, but because of chronic stress, time constraints, and mental health concerns. So, it’s not necessarily an immediate sign of internal struggle if your wife has engine lights or oil change needs in her car, but it could be a sign that she needs help managing her workload.
If she doesn’t have the time or energy to get an oil change while managing everything else going on in her life, it might be time to rediscuss responsibilities and find a better balance that supports both partners.
3. Children’s clothes and toys everywhere
antoniodiaz | Shutterstock
While buying things and having tons of material things for children is largely a symptom of our “clutter culture,” like a study from UCLA’s Center on Everyday Lives of Families argues, this kind of clutter in a car can be a sign that someone you love is struggling. Especially if it’s a representation of a woman who’s simultaneously overworked in professional settings and at home with childcare responsibilities, she may simply be struggling to express her need for support.
While being married is generally associated with better mental health, if couples aren’t actively supporting one another and finding a balance to manage responsibilities in everyday life, it’s not uncommon for one partner to struggle in silence.
4. A full trunk
SUPAWADEE3625 | Shutterstock
Whether it’s a junk drawer in the kitchen, an overflowing closet in the bedroom, or their car’s trunk, people who are dealing with constant stress and chaos in their lives have a tendency to avoid addressing their issues. They throw things into hidden spaces and push all their visual clutter out of sight, but they also tend to do the same internally — suffering quietly and suppressing their complex struggles, emotions, and concerns.
Of course, suppressing emotions doesn’t make them go away — they demand to be addressed and acknowledged, similar to the full trunk of a car or an overflowing closet — but it does set these women up for a number of physical and mental health concerns.
5. Crumbs and stains
Martin Novak | Shutterstock
On a more surface level, eating while driving can lead to overconsumption, according to a study from the Journal of Trial and Error, but the mere habit of needing to eat in the car can have a number of issues in itself. If you notice crumbs and stains from eating in your wife’s car, she may be struggling more than she admits — struggling to find time for mindful eating at home, cooking and making nutritious meals, and crafting her day without rushing around.
This could be a sign that she needs support with responsibilities, but it could also be a red flag that she’s struggling with her eating habits. If she’s always finding comfort or solace in fast food in her car or overconsumption outside of the house, it could be time for a conversation about better habits, support, or even professional help.
6. Expired insurance and registration papers
Kopytin Georgy | Shutterstock
Many people struggle to get around to seemingly simple tasks that come up annually amid the chaos of their everyday lives. So, if you see expired insurance or registration papers in your wife’s car, she’s likely struggling more than she admits with managing her time and responsibilities.
Of course, this isn’t necessarily a negative reflection of her own self-discipline and habits, but rather, a sign of lacking balance and support in a marriage. If you’re feeling completely comfortable — bored, even — while your wife is dealing with chronic stress and overwhelm during the day, something needs to change.
7. An empty gas tank
MAYA LAB | Shutterstock
Like other car maintenance issues or daily habits like eating, a woman who is struggling with things like childcare, work, and family responsibilities will try her best to fit in everything — often, at the expense of her own comfort. She’s likely running around with an empty gas tank because she simply doesn’t have the time to stop by the gas station.
While it might seem like she left it empty on purpose, so that you’d fill it when you drove it — and in some relationships and situations, that is the reason — it’s more than likely a sign of her overworked and stressful schedule.
8. Excessive sticky notes
ronstik | Shutterstock
Considering women tend to take on the majority of household and emotional labor in their relationships, despite working the same — if not, more — than their male counterparts, it’s not surprising that they resort to seemingly innocent things like sticky notes to stay on top of everything. From handling childcare, to dealing with work, planning and organizing things at home, and doing chores, it’s a lot to handle.
However, it’s not just emotional and physical exhaustion that taking on this household, emotional, and mental labor sparks, but also a number of other long-term issues like a reduced capacity for willpower, struggles with long-term decisions, anxiety, and chronic stress, like a 2023 study explains.
So, if you notice these things in your wife’s car, they could be innocent — simply trackers and organizers — but they could also be a sign of chaos, that she’s struggling more than she admits with planning and overseeing everything in your and your children’s lives.
9. Unopened mail or bills
Depiction Images | Shutterstock
If you notice unopened mail or bills you’ve never seen in your wife’s car, she’s likely struggling more than she admits. Not only can these be signs of things like overspending or seeking emotional coping through financial habits, it’s likely a sign of disconnection in the marriage — from partners that feel drawn to hiding things from each other when it comes to money.
Especially if there are bills that haven’t been discussed or aren’t known to both partners in a marriage, these can only amplify that turmoil that couples experience around financial insecurity in their relationships — holding the power to “mute” couple’s communication patterns, like a study from the Journal of Consumer Psychology suggests.
10. Empty coffee cups and energy drinks
Gorodenkoff | Shutterstock
Consuming too much caffeine on a regular basis can lead to a number of consequences, according to the American Medical Association, from chronic headaches, to exacerbating sleep and insomnia issues, and even raising blood pressure and heart rate.
Of course, with controlled amounts and a healthy schedule, caffeine isn’t entirely bad — and can even help with depression by boosting dopamine in some people — but if it’s clear there’s a problem with consumption, it’s one of the things in your wife’s car that could be a sign that she’s struggling more than she admits.
Especially if she’s got a lot on her plate already prompting anxiety and stress — from a chaotic work schedule, to personal family responsibilities, and even relationship qualms — this addition of caffeine to get through the day can be problematic.
11. Makeup and clothing
In Green | Shutterstock
If your partner doesn’t even have enough time in the morning or throughout the day to get ready before leaving for work, bringing the kids to school, or running errands — instead doing it quickly in her car or even while driving — that’s a sign she’s struggling more than she admits.
Even if it seems simple or obvious, morning routines and the mindful quality time with yourself it takes to get ready are incredibly important — not just for boosting productivity throughout the day, but also for building self-esteem, reducing stress, and protecting a person’s general well-being.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
Source link
