Our homes and living spaces — even our desks at work and cars — mirror our inner state. When we’re stressed and overwhelmed, we tend to gather clutter and misplace things. When we’re disconnected from people and purpose, communication diminishes, mail accumulates, and emails go unread. As psychotherapist Michael J. Formica explains, a person’s home reflects their “global state of mind” — a mix of emotional, social, spiritual, and physical well-being.
When seemingly superficial things like clutter and messes seem to run rampant at home, they can also be a sign of something deeper and more personal. If you notice these things at someone’s house, they’re struggling more than they admit. Even if some of these things are normal in the home of a well-functioning and happy person, they can also be connected to chronic stress, unhappiness, and general disarray.
If you notice these 11 things at someone’s house, they’re struggling more than they admit:
1. A bed that’s never made
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Psychiatrist Susan Trachman states that making your bed not only promotes well-being and health through routine but also can boost your mood, productivity, and stress levels. If you make your bed in the morning and everything else in your day goes “wrong,” at least you have a comfortable, made bed to come home to.
So, if you usually see an unmade bed at someone else’s house, they might be struggling more than they let on — neglecting the simplest way to protect their mood and sanity just for a few more minutes of sleep or rest.
2. A sink full of dirty dishes
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While doing chores is often associated with a better mood and overall mental health in most people, especially as they age, according to a study from the BMC Geriatrics journal, not being a fan of chores or having occasionally messy spaces at home isn’t always a sign of an unhappy person.
However, if things like an overflowing sink of dirty dishes or piles of laundry are common in someone’s space — a sign of neglect rather than acceptance or busyness — it could indicate they’re struggling more than they admit. Self-neglect, like another study from the BMC Public Health journal, is connected with symptoms of depression and social isolation.
So, even if things like personal hygiene and doing chores seem simple, neglecting them can cause mental health issues and be a side effect of not doing them.
3. An overgrown yard or unkempt lawn
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While there are many connections between physical mobility issues, aging, and things like unkept landscaping — most of which negatively impact the mood and mental health of older people — if you notice these things at anyone’s home, it could be a sign they’re struggling more than they admit.
Of course, many people simply don’t have the time to maintain their lawn, mow the grass, or the money to pay someone else to do it, but others struggle with the self-discipline or motivation needed to do so. Especially if their lack of lawn care prevents them from enjoying their green or outdoor spaces, it could negatively impact their overall mood and well-being at home.
4. An empty fridge
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In addition to mental health issues that hinder basic activities like preparing meals and grocery shopping, there’s also a financial strain often linked to food scarcity across the country. Many people are skipping meals, struggling with food and grocery budgets, and not eating enough to stay physically nourished because they lack the money to afford more wholesome and plentiful options.
A person’s financial situation is closely linked to their food security, mental health, and physical well-being. So, if you notice these signs at someone’s house, they’re likely struggling more than they admit — even if their money issues and financial turmoil are kept quiet in other parts of their life.
5. No real workspace
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Specifically for people who work a lot from home or remotely, not having a dedicated space for productivity can significantly harm their productivity, wellbeing, and mental health. When they constantly work from their bed or couch, their work begins to intrude into parts of their home meant for other activities — whether socializing, relaxing, or resting.
Even if having intentional space seems subtle, working from a place like your bed tricks the brain into thinking it’s time to be productive and alert, even if you’re winding down for the night in your bedroom. The stress and anxiety of work aren’t confined to an intentional space but are instead running rampant in these people’s homes.
6. Dead plants
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Dead plants are another sign of neglect that can reveal a person’s struggles just by entering their home. While alive and thriving plants offer many benefits to a space — such as improving air quality and creating a sense of calm — constant reminders of neglect through dead and dying plants do the opposite.
If you notice these signs at someone’s house — clear indicators that they haven’t been intentional about caring for plants or even taking care of them once they withered — it suggests they’re struggling more than they admit, even if it’s just with balance and time in their routine.
7. Unfinished projects everywhere
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If someone is having a hard time with self-discipline, mental health, or work-life balance, unfinished projects around their home can reflect their struggles. They have the time and motivation to start projects—whether it’s repairs, hobbies, or chores—but often lack the time or consistency to complete them.
Like psychologist Michael W Wiederman argues, things like self-discipline are practices that aren’t always comfortable or easy to incorporate into your routine or schedule. However, the more confident you are in your abilities and intentional
8. Constant background noise
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If you walk into someone’s house and the first thing you notice is the noise — the TV always on, loud music, or a YouTube video playing in the background during every conversation — that could be a sign that someone is struggling more than they admit. Some people find distractions — like doomscrolling or having something on TV — to be comforting because it helps them avoid emotional burdens, stress, or inner criticism.
While distractions can sometimes be helpful and healthy, relying on them instead of emotional regulation, self-reflection, or external support only leads to emotional suppression and greater internal chaos.
9. A heavy, low-energy vibe
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Sometimes, when you walk into someone’s house, it’s not the material things, decor, or cleanliness that catch your eye, but rather the overall vibe of their space. It’s the same kind of energy that feng shui principles and other spiritual experts describe — the kind of “chi” or vibes that influence a person’s mood, mental health, social ties, productivity, and happiness at home.
Even if it’s low-energy pets, poor lighting, or an overall dark ambiance from closed curtains that negatively impacts a guest’s mood, they can still infer how the person living there feels 24/7.
10. Stacks of unopened mail
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There are many reasons why a person might have mounds of unopened mail around their home, from serious issues like unresolved trauma and mental health struggles to more general feelings like fear of the unknown. If you notice these signs at someone’s house, it could indicate they’re struggling more than they admit — unable to complete some of the basic tasks in their routine that most people would handle immediately upon getting home.
From simple chores like doing dishes to opening mail, sometimes internal chaos and dysregulation in the body make completing tasks much harder — even when you have the time and space at home amid a hectic schedule.
11. Clutter in random places
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Whether it’s clothing scattered around the house, piles of stuff near the entryway, or closets and junk drawers overflowing with random items, a lot of clutter is one of the first things people notice when they enter someone’s home, and it often signals that they might be struggling.
Of course, they don’t always struggle with mental health — although clutter is often inherently tied to emotional and mental wellbeing — but more often with time, money, or energy.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
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