Social media websites were ablaze Friday night with baseless wishcasting about how President Donald Trump may have quietly died, after the president had a relatively quiet few days and had nothing listed on his planned schedule for the weekend.
On Saturday morning, a photo was released showing Trump getting ready to play golf. By Saturday afternoon, the president made a Truth Social post that should qualify as proof of life and silence any remaining doubters, as he got back to his actual favorite pastime: Immiserating the contractors doing business with him.
Trump, who recently turned the White House’s iconic Rose Garden into a budget hotel-quality patio, wrote Saturday that the Rose Garden is now “far more beautiful than anyone ever had in mind when it was conceived of, decades ago.” He noted that “Surfaces are very important to me as a Builder. As everyone knows, I built many GREAT Buildings, and other things, over the years.”
As he was “admiring the stonework,” Trump said, “I happened to notice a huge gash in the limestone that extended more than 25 yards long. It was deep and nasty! I started yelling, ‘Who did this, and I want to find out now!’ — And I didn’t say this in a nice manner. I wondered, ‘Was it vandalism or, was it stupidity?’ Lo and behold, because of the fact that we’ve installed the finest security equipment anywhere, they brought back the stupid people, with their boss watching (in sunglasses!).”
Trump wrote that the stonework had been damaged by a subcontractor who had been “installing heavy landscaping on a steel cart that was broken and tilting badly,” sharing a fairly grainy video of the alleged incident.
The president said he intends to “replace the stone, charge the contractor, and never let that contractor work at the White House again,” adding: “I love and respect great workers and contractors, but something like this should never happen.”
Throughout his career, Trump developed a long and storied reputation for stiffing contractors, workers, and family-owned businesses. Now, it sounds like Trump is ready to add one more contractor to the pile.
Safe to say he’s doing OK.
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