Breadcrumbing is the new ghosting—experts say it’s worse for your self‑esteem

The lexicon of online dating keeps growing, and “breadcrumbing” is the latest toxic trend to enter the mainstream conversation.

In the digital dating scene of 2025, terms like ghosting, haunting, and breadcrumbing have gone viral as social media and dating apps amplify dysfunctional behaviors.

Ghosting – abruptly cutting off all contact – is already commonplace (roughly 1 in 4 people have been ghosted).

Now, experts are sounding the alarm on breadcrumbing: a behavior where someone gives just enough attention to keep you interested, but never commits to anything more.

In fact, breadcrumbing is strikingly prevalent.

According to one recent study, about 35% of dating app users have either been a perpetrator or victim of breadcrumbing. This practice is anything but harmless — it’s quickly earning a reputation as a slow-burn heartbreaker that may do even more damage to self-esteem than an outright disappearance.

Ghosting vs. breadcrumbing: A new kind of heartbreak

Anyone who’s been ghosted knows the confusion and hurt of someone vanishing without explanation – “ghosting” means a person suddenly cuts ties and ignores all communication attempts.

Breadcrumbing, on the other hand, is more insidious. Rather than ending things, the breadcrumber keeps “stringing someone along” with occasional morsels of interest. 

They might send a flirty text once in a while, drop a like on your photo, or say “let’s hang out soon,” but never follow through.

Though both ghosting and breadcrumbing are forms of rejection, breadcrumbing can feel like a drawn-out rollercoaster. Ghosting delivers a single painful blow of silence, whereas breadcrumbing prolongs the uncertainty, keeping you wondering where you stand.

Psychologists note that these noncommittal behaviors have become increasingly normalized in online dating. And worryingly, breadcrumbing is not rare – it appears even more common than ghosting.

One analysis reported that around 20% of users have ghosted or been ghosted, whereas over one-third have encountered breadcrumbing in some form. 

The rise of breadcrumbing signals a shift: being “left on read” or intermittently messaged might be the new normal in a dating culture where disappearing acts were once the worst-case scenario.

The psychological toll on self-esteem

Being led on by sporadic affection isn’t just frustrating – it can be psychologically damaging.

Mental health experts are increasingly concerned about the impact of breadcrumbing on self-esteem and emotional well-being.

Research shows that victims of breadcrumbing often suffer significantly lower life satisfaction, along with heightened feelings of helplessness and loneliness.

In one study of young adults, those who had been breadcrumbed (or both breadcrumbed and ghosted) reported markedly worse outcomes on these measures – while ghosting alone showed no significant effect on life satisfaction or loneliness. In other words, having someone keep you in limbo with intermittent interest can hurt more than a clean break.

Why is breadcrumbing so corrosive to one’s self-worth? Therapists say it’s the ambiguity and constant second-guessing that do the damage. Breadcrumbing is essentially emotional manipulation, and it can make you question your own value.

As one counselor bluntly describes, this behavior is “a form of emotional abuse that can cause you to question whether your date truly cares about you.”

The breadcrumbed person is left analyzing every small text or “like,” trying to decipher meaning from crumbs. Over time, this erodes confidence: you may start wondering if you’re asking for too much or if you somehow aren’t enough. The cycle of little highs (when they pay attention) followed by disappointment (when they pull away again) is like an emotional yo-yo.

Relationship coaches note that these inconsistent signals can leave you “confused, drained, and questioning your worth. Even ghosting, which inflicts its own share of pain, can sometimes be easier to process – at least it provides a form of closure, however abrupt.

Breadcrumbing instead keeps the wound open, leading many to internalize rejection repeatedly. 

Why breadcrumbing thrives in the attention economy

What’s driving the breadcrumbing epidemic?

Experts point to larger cultural shifts in dating and the so-called attention economy of social media.

In an era of endless dating app options, people can easily treat connections as disposable or interchangeable. The person dangling breadcrumbs often isn’t behaving this way due to the victim’s shortcomings – it’s usually about the breadcrumber’s own psychology and the modern dating environment.

Online platforms fuel this trend. Dating apps present a virtually unlimited pool of potential matches, encouraging people to keep their options open.

Why commit to one person when another swipe could reveal someone “better”? This mindset can lead individuals to hold onto multiple semi-connections rather than focusing on one. Social media, too, makes it easy to drop into someone’s DMs or react to their stories intermittently, just to keep oneself in their mind.

Psychologists observe that with “one-click solutions,” it’s frighteningly easy to dispose of or ignore someone without any accountability or courtesy.

The anonymity and convenience of apps mean a person can vanish or reappear at whim, conditioning us to accept flaky communication as normal.

Moreover, the dopamine rush of getting attention (likes, messages, compliments) is a powerful reinforcement. Some people breadcrumb simply because they can – the technology enables it and even subtly rewards it.

Culturally, we’ve begun naming these toxic trends (ghosting, orbiting, benching) because they’re so widespread.

The fact that “breadcrumbing” has entered our dating vocabulary is telling. It reflects a dating culture where commitment often takes a backseat to instant gratification. Unfortunately, the attention economy – where everyone competes for eyeballs and validation – spills over into our love lives. Constant validation-seeking can trump empathy.

How to cope with breadcrumbing and rebuild confidence

If you suspect you’re being breadcrumbed, remember that you’re not powerless in this situation. Relationship experts emphasize setting boundaries and prioritizing your self-worth.

Here are some actionable strategies to protect yourself if you’ve encountered a breadcrumber:

• Recognize the pattern: Pay attention to the signs of breadcrumbing – inconsistent communication, vague plans that never solidify, hot-and-cold behavior. Trust your instincts. If their words and actions rarely line up, it’s a red flag. Don’t rationalize or excuse a continual lack of follow-through.

• Stop “picking up the crumbs”: Rather than chasing after the minimal attention they give, consider pulling back. Disengage from the game – respond on your terms or not at all. You do not need to accept mediocre scraps of affection.

• Call them out (or cut them off): It can help to bring up the issue directly. Ask for clarity about where you stand. If they continue the same lukewarm behavior or dodge the conversation, move on. You have every right to remove yourself from a one-sided situation.

• Protect your self-worth: Most importantly, don’t let breadcrumbing erode your confidence. Someone stringing you along is revealing their inconsistency, not any deficiency in you. Surround yourself with supportive friends or activities that reinforce your value.

Final thoughts

Breadcrumbing thrives in the grey area between genuine connection and outright rejection, feeding off the frictionless design of dating apps and the dopamine-drip economy of social media.

What makes the practice uniquely harmful is its slow erosion of self-worth: every intermittent “hey stranger” message rekindles hope before extinguishing it again, creating a jagged pattern of micro-validation and lingering self-doubt.

Over time, those emotional whiplashes can distort your internal narrative—transforming someone else’s inconsistency into a false verdict on your value.

Recognizing that dynamic is the first step toward breaking free. The next is insisting on clarity: relationships, even in their earliest digital form, should include consistent effort and respect.

Anything less risks becoming a drain on the emotional bandwidth you could invest in people and projects that offer genuine reciprocity — friendships, community work, planet-positive goals.