- Music legend Billy Joel remembers having an affair with his bandmate’s wife in part 1 of HBO documentary Billy Joel: And So It Goes.
- The “Piano Man” singer-songwriter recalls two suicide attempts after losing the woman he blew up his friendship over.
- Joel checked himself into an observation ward to receive psychiatric treatment for his depression.
Billy Joel is opening up about how having an affair with his best friend’s wife led him to blow up his heavy metal band and temporarily lose his closest friend. The act also sent the singer-songwriter into a depressive spiral so intense that he tried to take his own life.
In the first installment of his two-part HBO documentary Billy Joel: And So It Goes, the 76-year-old “Vienna” singer explained that he fell for his future-wife Elizabeth Weber while she was still married to his best friend and Attila bandmate, Jon Small.
“I fell in love, and we went into a relationship,” Joel said. “I felt very, very guilty about it. They had a child, you know? I felt like a homewrecker.”
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In his own interview, Small recalled Joel notified him of his and Weber’s romance.
“He’s crying, and he’s telling me he feels so bad, he didn’t know what to do about it. How does he break his best friend’s heart?” Small said. “But he said she was so powerful to him that it was worth it to lose our friendship for it.”
Joel added, “I was just in love with a woman. And I got punched in the nose, which I deserved. Jon was very upset. I was very upset. And that was the end of Atilla. That was the end of my relationship with Jon for a while.”
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Shortly after getting together, however, Joel explained that Weber suddenly “took off.” The combined loss of her and Small sent the “Piano Man” crooner into a depressive spiral that saw him drink “a lot” and contemplate ending his life.
“I had no place to live,” Joel said. “I was sleeping in laundromats, and I was depressed, I think, to the point of almost being psychotic. So, I figured, That’s it, I don’t wanna live anymore. I was just in a lot of pain. It was sort of like, Why hang out? Tomorrow’s gonna be just like today is, and today sucks. So, I just thought I’d end it all.”
Joel later tried to commit suicide by ingesting a large amount of sleeping pills given to him by his sister, Judy Molinari.
“It was very selfish,” the five-time Grammy winner said of his attempt. “I didn’t think about other people — how it would impact them. And then I remember waking up in a hospital. My first thought was, I couldn’t even do this right. You can’t even do yourself in. So I thought, I’m gonna try to do this again.”
He attempted to kill himself a second time by drinking a bottle of lemon Pledge cleaning fluid, but was rescued by Small, who was able to get him to the hospital in time. Joel added, “Even though our friendship had blown up, Jon saved my life.”
Small eventually forgave Joel for dating Weber.
“I finally got over it to where it was like, okay,” Small said. “He thought that it was over for him. And, to me, he didn’t even start living yet.”
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After his multiple suicide attempts, Joel checked himself into an observation ward in order to receive psychiatric treatment for his depression.
“I would go over to the nurses’ station and knock and say, ‘Hey, I’m okay. These people are crazy.’ ‘Okay, Mr. Joel. Here’s your pills,’” he recalled. “They released me after a couple of weeks and I felt chagrined — these people had really deep psychiatric problems. I was just feeling sorry for myself. And I said, ‘That’s it. I’m not going to ever feel that sorry for myself again.’”
When he was released, Joel said that he “ran down the street” and “never looked back.” Although, he noted, his time in the ward taught him an important lesson about the power of music.
“I got out of the observation ward and I thought to myself, You can utilize all those emotions to channel that stuff into music,” he said.
Joel eventually reconnected with Weber, and the couple were married from 1973 until 1982. During that time, Weber also worked as Joel’s business manager under the now-defunct Home Run Management.
The first half of And So It Goes is streaming now on HBO Max, with the second installment slated to drop on July 25.
If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health challenges, emotional distress, substance use problems, or just needs to talk, call or text 988, or chat at 988lifeline.org 24/7.
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