During an episode of the Extra Dirty podcast, Bachelor winner Rachael Kirkconnell opens up about being “chronically single,” adding that she’s not had sex in years, including during Matt James relationship, before a stunning discovery about her own sexuality.
Bachelor alum Rachael Kirkconnell is opening up about her sexuality and just dropped a bombshell that’s sparking conversation all across Bachelor Nation. The reality star — who ended her four-year relationship with former Bachelor Matt James in January this year — revealed that she’s “chronically single” and hasn’t had sex for “years.”
The 29-year-old winner of The Bachelor Season 25 spilled the tea on an October 16 episode of the Extra Dirty podcast this week, giving host Hallie Batchelder a very candid explanation for the major dry spell in her love life and a stunning realization about her own sexuality. That reason? She discovered that she identifies as demisexual.
“I feel like a virgin again,” shared Kirkconnell, adding, “I haven’t had sex way longer than you think. It’s been years.”
Kirkconnell went on to explain that she’s in a headspace where she doesn’t want to just “give it up to anyone,” and how she wants her next sexual encounter “to be special” and “incredible.”
That’s when Batchelder shifted the conversation in a different direction, bringing up demisexuality, which drew a surprising response from Kirkconnell. For the uninitiated, demisexual falls under the asexual spectrum. It means a person only experiences sexual attraction after forming a strong, deep, emotional bond with someone.
After Batchelder explained the definition of the term, Kirkconnell replied, “I think that’s me. I just feel like I do have to have an emotional connection with someone.”
She continued: “I just don’t think I could go home with anyone. I have to feel safe and comfortable with them and be emotionally invested at least in a way that I could see us dating or I at least have a crush on them … It’s not a physical attraction, I guess.”

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Batchelder then asked the reality star if she was also attracted to women, which is a fair question considering some demisexuals can have a strong attraction and emotional bond with anyone, regardless of gender.
“I don’t think so, I don’t know,” Kirkconnell replied, admitting that she was also confused about the difference between pansexual and demisexual. “It’s all a spectrum, isn’t it?”
She continued: “I can say, ‘Wow, that person is really attractive.’ I obviously find them really attractive, I think they’re really hot, but I don’t care after that, cause they could still be like a terrible person or have the worst personality ever, and that would make me not want to sleep with them because that totally turns me off. I guess their attraction can only get so far for me. Maybe that’s my problem, I don’t know.”
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