Are treehouses dangerous? I had a magical childhood with a treehouse, and no one got hurt. But my wife thinks they’re death traps.

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here.

Dear Care and Feeding,

My wife, “Judy” and I have two boys, ages 7 and 9, and they want me to build them a treehouse in the giant oak tree in our backyard. I’m a master carpenter by trade, so this would be no big deal for me. The obstacle to this is that Judy is staunchly against it.

She is claiming that the boys could fall and injure themselves or “worse.” She also says that if they have friends over, the same thing could happen to them. To her, this mean my boys can’t have a treehouse. I think this shouldn’t even be an issue!

My dad and grandfather built a treehouse for me and my sister when we were kids, and some of my happiest memories are of playing there with her, friends, and cousins.  Nobody got hurt, let alone landed in the hospital!  With all the shit going on in the world right now, if I can give my kids some joy in their lives and allow them to create wonderful memories of their own I really can’t see why Judy is making such a big deal over it.  How can I convince my wife that her stance on this is not a normal one?

—Treehouse Triggered

Dear Treehouse Triggered, 

Some of my happiest childhood memories are of playing on concrete playgrounds. But today, most kids playgrounds today are built on softer surfaces because kids did often get hurt! Just because you and your folks were never injured in your treehouse doesn’t mean there’s no risk involved. I’m not saying you’re wrong for wanting to build one—and I get that you’re credentialed to do that—but you’re acting like your wife is being unreasonable, and she simply isn’t.

There’s nothing abnormal about your wife’s stance. She recognizes the risk inherent in building a play structure high off the ground! Kids absolutely can fall from even a well-made treehouse. What would you do if someone else’s child fell? Do you have the insurance to cover their injuries? Also remember that parents are more litigious today than when you were a kid. The fallout from something like that could be devastating. I’m not asking you to give up your treehouse dreams, but try to understand where your wife is coming from.

There’s no guarantee she’ll get on board, but if you want to try to persuade her, I would recommend emphasizing the safety measures you would take to make the treehouse as safe as possible. In an article for Nationwide Children’s Hospital, Laura Dattner of the Center for Injury Research and Policy notes that most treehouse injuries are from falls and jumps. Safety recommendations include that the building to a max height for eight feet; spreading at least nine inches of mulch in a six-foot radius below the treehouse to soften jumps and falls; and installing solid walls instead of rails. Other frequent treehouse injuries come from from ropes, chains, and improperly hammered-in nails. Skip the ropes and chains, and I don’t need to tell a master carpenter to make sure his nails are hammered-in correctly! And check with your homeowner’s insurance company—they may have requirements of their own.

Read this post and do more research on treehouse safety. Assure your wife that you’re taking the injury risk seriously and doing what you can to mitigate it. And of course, let her know that you will do your part to ensure the kids are always supervised in the treehouse.

—Jamilah

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