Robert Irwin Blows Away Judges

It was also an absolutely jam-packed night, with 14 couples hitting the ballroom in just two hours, with a very mixed bag of performances. The casting this season was fantastic, with a truly exciting and diversified group. There were some big surprises (and not so big surprises) as to who quickly rose to the top, and who had us peeking through our fingers.

As always, there are a few celebrities who just are not cut out for this whole dancing thing, but we can say that we did feel like everyone was out there giving it their all. The judges also, thankfully, shared that they were going to be giving lower than usual scores this first week. It not only gives the stars more room to grow in the weeks to come, but is also a more accurate assessment of where they are right now.

But while all the stars and pro dancers were at the top of their respective games, such as they were, poor Carrie Ann Inaba had to settle for a televised first impression (like the rest of us!) for this premiere, leaving the boys to fly solo on this first night. It was interesting there was no guest judge (like co-host Julianne Hough, maybe), but with as much as they had to get through, maybe just two was the way to go, after all.

Alfonso Ribeiro also just went ahead and spoiled the big dramatic twist — that we get every season — of there being no elimination tonight. He did wait until after the first performance, but maybe the stars already knew this. Think of this, then, as a getting-to-know-you week. 

That said, the scores and votes will carry over into next week’s show, which is a double elimination, so it all does still matter.

Who do I think I am? you ask. Well, I spent nearly a decade of my life sweating and bleeding to the music as a dancer. From learning a shuffle-ball-change to performing with the St. Louis Ballet Company, I experienced the ups and downs of one of the most difficult physically demanding sports on the planet. And I’ve spent decades analyzing and critiquing reality competition shows for various media publications. I’ve got this.

Fair warning, since I’m safe at home, I’m probably going to be a little harsher than my colleagues Derek Hough and Bruno Tonioli. But I might be nicer, too. Maybe.

(“Kill the Lights,” Whitney Myer) The only thing missing from this opening piece was a showcase spotlight for Carrie Ann — as we didn’t find out she was going to be out until after it was over. It was fun seeing both Bruno and Derek get an escorted entrance on the arms of the dancers, while Alfonso and Julianne kept their own dance pedigree represented with a few moments together.

We also appreciated Jenna Johnson getting a spotlight to start the night. It’s a great way to celebrate both the return of the show as well as the returning champion after her big victory with Bachelor Joey Graziadei last season. All in all, this was a great spotlight of how good the pros are each season as dancers and left us pumped for the night to come. They can move … but can they teach?

(Salsa – “Break My Soul,” Beyoncé) Jordan’s got the strength, grace, flexibility and musicality from her years as a Gold medal gymnast. Can she translate all of those incredible assets to the world of dance? Right away, we could see a lot of potential in the partnership. She’s fearless when it comes to flips and stunts, but definitely needs to work on grace and finesse in the choreography, as well. The leg placement for the spin was … not graceful. 

All in all, this lacked that sense of interconnected fluid full-body motion as Jordan wasn’t looking quite confident in the steps between the stunts — which does make sense, as in gymnastics, the stunts are the more important part and are isolated between the steps in, say, a floor routine. That said, if she can shift her process to more of a full dance mentality, she’s got the tools in her tiny toolbox to really shine.

Judges Scores: 5, 5

My Score: 5

(Cha-cha-cha – “Milkshake,” Kelis) We have to say, Dylan was a lot of a big surprise in this premiere. The boy has got some moves, and those hips were definitely giving. And other than when he walked to position to shake his booty, he kept dancing and moving throughout the piece. We won’t say he kept up with Daniella, per se, as his timing was inconsistent. He could also loosen his body up overall, he could really blow everyone — including himself — away.

Dylan talked about kind of avoiding the spotlight and performance as the younger brother to Zac Efron, but that musicality and charisma must be in the jeans, because we were definitely feeling it. It was still a bit small in this first week overall, but there were moments where we saw an extension, a pull, and hints of a flexibility that will serve him well for weeks to come … and we do think he’ll be here for weeks and weeks.

Judges Scores: 5, 5

My Score: 6

(Cha-cha-cha – “Woman,” Kesha f. The Dap-Kings Horns) Elaine shared that she started her career as a professional dancer, though not ballroom, before she shifted to acting. When asked why she stopped, the Parent Trap star revealed that she was hit by a car, leaving her unsure if she’s going to be able to do this after all these years. We’re not sure, either, though it didn’t seem like her body was the issue as much as her confidence in this first number.

Elaine has the performance and personality to shine through, but that was almost all in her face. Characterization can’t cover up a hesitancy that dominated her routine. She struggled with remembering the choreography a couple of times, her body roll was more of a nod, her hips were giving about 30 to 40 percent of what was needed, and her limbs weren’t fully finishing one move before hurrying to try and get into the next one. Overall, she mostly knew what was expected of her in the dance, so it seems she just needs to gain the confidence to just go for it and give us 100 percent of herself as a dancer.

Judges Scores: 6, 6

My Score: 4

(Tango – “Golden,” Huntr/x) The villain of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives was definitely starstruck when she saw returning pro Mark in the studio for their first meeting. She also promised that fans would see another side of her on this show. While she may have been confident with her MomTok pedigree, she admitted she was humbled on that first day. This is a very different beast. But then — but then — any Whitney haters were completely humbled by an absolutely incredible first dance. 

We later learned she and pro Witney were in competing dance studios back in the day, so that explains the strong foundation she was building on. Seriously, though, this was one of the strongest first dances in show history, with Whitney giving the strength, extensions, sharp pivots. She was all across that dance floor, matching Mark move for move. Yes, there were moments here and there where we could have used a longer arm, but head pivots, check, dramatic arcs, check. If this is her starting point, what a journey she, and we, could be about to enjoy.

Judges Scores: 7, 8*
* – Bruno meant to put in a 7, but accidentally put in an 8

My Score: 7

(Cha-cha-cha – “U Can’t Touch This,” MC Hammer) As a former athlete, Baron has the mental tools for the training necessary, but admitted he was definitely out of shape heading into this season and training. We loved every bit of the personality and positivity he had on display through his intro package, so if he can rediscover his inner athlete and pair it with his bright personality, that can win a lot of hearts.

Unfortunately, charisma is all he was riding in this first piece as we can’t even give him props for the Hammer portions of his dance. He always seemed ready to start dancing and then suddenly he’d remember that he was supposed to already be doing it. His timing was a mess, what cha-cha we got would hardly qualify as recognizable. This was a mess — albeit charming — from start to finish.

Judges Scores: 5, 5

My Score: 2

(Cha-cha-cha – “Circus,” Britney Spears) After making her mark on social media, admitting that she tried to make her mark as a TikTok dancer before “Get Ready With Me” videos took off, Alix said in her intro package that no one has seen her competitive side and “it’s about to go down.” Perhaps appropriate that she was paired with one of the most competitive pros in DWTS history, although Val has mellowed in more recent seasons. Still, if she’s got the drive, he’s definitely got the will to push her.

This one was a surprise for us, but in a good way. She’s a little stiff in her middle section, but the arms and legs were giving. What we saw was the potential for someone to get out of their head a bit and really trust and embrace this process. If she can do that, we’re going to see something really amazing out of her because we could see it being held back tonight. The tools are there, just let Val pull it out — and he will try.

Judges Scores: 7, 6

My Score: 7

(Tango – “Abracadabra,” Lady Gaga) Singing a cappella in a group, Scott said it’s hard to dance while singing. He then went on to praise a Lady Gaga comment he and his husband received for a TikTok to this song, and if there’s one star who knows how to sing and dance, it’s Gaga. In other words, it can be done, so he needs to change his headspace and know that he can stand solo — outside of Pentatonix — and be the leading man.

He was right in that his arms were going to be a problem in frame, as that elbow tended to dip as they moved along. Rylee was working hard throughout this to compensate for Scott’s more rigid movements across the floor. Here’s the thing, though, based on what we saw, it was clear Scott knew what he was supposed to be doing, which is more than halfway to doing it. The judges called it refining, and that’s really all that needs to happen. Focus on execution, and maybe relax a bit.

Judges Scores: 5, 5

My Score: 6

(Tango – “Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You),” Kelly Clarkson) The Boy Meets World icon called this her “Year of Yes” after overcoming cancer, and DWTS in particular, her biggest “yes” yet. Danielle’s attitude was right where you want to be when stepping into something completely alien as she was all in for the experience and clearly excited about every bit of it. 

Pasha didn’t put too much pressure on her in this first dance with the choreography, but we saw a lot of potential inside of her just waiting to burst out. She needs to tighten up her posture a bit — she was falling into him and letting him pull her around more than altogether necessary — and add finesse to her own lines, but this was a solid first effort. What we saw was the potential to be very excited about what she’s doing in five or six weeks.

Judges Scores: 6, 6

My Score: 6

(Salsa – “Nuevayol,” Bad Bunny) From Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour to dancing with a MomTok star, Jan has had quite a year himself. As for Jen, with three kids under three, and her youngest just 8 weeks old, she quipped that she’s not sure if her pelvic floor is ready, “But I’m ready.” She chose Bad Bunny to pull out her Latina side, trying to bring the sizzle to the ballroom.

What we saw was a hesitant Latina who seemed a little overwhelmed by the lights and the expectations on her. Jan — a three-time world champion — is going to be just fine. Props to both of them for going for it with big stunts, but they were executed so slowly, we could see how awkward her body positioning was in them. The dancing between the stunts was then too small. All of that is to say that Jen is her own worst enemy right now, because if her body had settled into this a bit more, she could have been remarkable on a first dance.

Judges Scores: 6, 6

My Score: 5

(Tango – “It’s Still Rock and Roll to Me,” Billy Joel) Corey seems to always be at about a 12 out of 10 when it comes to just kinetic energy pouring out of him, so we think one of his biggest challenges is going to be reining that in and having the dance discipline. Tango puts him in that hot seat right away. Then, he opened up about having scoliosis, which can definitely impact frame and posture, adding another challenge.

The Michael Jackson moves were expected, but still very awkward. Unfortunately, they were also the highlight moments of this disastrous opening performance. Corey was literally stomping around like Frankenstein’s monster out there — we were scared for Jenna’s feet — hitting everything way too hard and way too stiffly. He has got to relax his body a bit as this looked like every single muscle was on high alert and fully tensed. At least it sounds like the audience has his back, as they were not feeling Derek’s low score on this (don’t let him see ours!), booing the judge and former champ.

Judges Scores: 4, 5

My Score: 2

(Tango – “Yes, And?” Ariana Grande) Lauren is feeling the pressure of being the third Fifth Harmony member on DWTS after both Ally Brooke and Normani made it all the way to the finale. No pressure, right? At least she came into this with the desire to stand on her own and own the spotlight as a solo performer, which is the right way to be thinking about it because the lights will be on you the whole time.

On the stage, Lauren had just a bit of hesitance. Perhaps it was stage fright or just a bit of nervousness in exposing herself in such a new way. The result was that she felt behind on her timing just a bit, and didn’t quite complete some of her extensions. What we did see, though, was some solid framework, intensity, and understanding of the choreo that has us confident she can grow into the dancer she wants to be in these ballroom styles.

Judges Scores: 7, 6

My Score: 6

(Cha-cha-cha – “Hold On, I’m Comin’,” Sam & Dave) As a comedian and professional cornball, Andy brings plenty of personality to the ballroom. What also helps is that he knows he doesn’t have much talent in this area, so he’s just out there having fun. That can go a long way, but it’s unlikely to carry him all the way. We say unlikely, because we’ve seen crazier things on this show.

In the dance itself, Andy was surprisingly light on his feet, but that’s about all we can say positive about his technique. Emma largely used him as a prop, not asking for a whole out of him. She danced impressively around him and he offered occasional bouts of footwork that were very okay. The thing is, what we see is someone who could have had a very soft foot dance style in him had he developed it earlier. If he takes this seriously and has the time, there’s real potential for impressive growth and grace in there.

Judges Scores: 5, 4

My Score: 3

(Cha-cha-cha – “Let’s Get Loud,” Jennifer Lopez) The good news for Gleb is that there will be no showmance distractions this season. Can he translate that into a winning run with Alec Baldwin’s wife and babies mama? Also to their benefit in a partnership, Hilaria used to be a dancer, until she broke her hip “all the way through” more than a decade ago from overuse. Alec also made a guest appearance when rehearsals shifted to New York this past week, with the actor saying how proud he is that she’s stepping back into what was at one time “her life.”

It was clear right away that she has a lot of dance and performance experience as there was so much Latin flair in this performance, from the arms to the swivels in her hips. If anything, she was a little too exuberant at the top of the number, which threw her off just a bit. As it went along we felt her energy waning, but what an incredibly strong Week 1 routine. Gleb did not hold back with his choreography, and Hilaria didn’t, either. This should be an exciting partnership to watch.

Judges Scores: 7, 7

My Score: 7

(Jive – “Born to Be Wild,” Steppenwolf) Bindi Irwin won this whole show a decade ago with Derek, so no sibling pressure at all for Robert as he steps into her Mirrorball Trophy-sized shadow. He was the first announced for the season and the last to perform in the finale, so clearly producers also know the buzz surrounding his participation. Could he live up to all that hype?

The side-by-side portion of this dance told us everything we needed to know. Robert has what it takes to repeat his sister’s feat. He’s coming out with this confident of a dance — and a jive, no less – in Week 1?! He was so light on his feet with the bounce and flick. He’s got athleticism through the roof and great rhythm and timing. Witney must be loving having someone with such natural charisma and talent to work with. What a great season they’re about to have.

Judges Scores: 8, 7

My Score: 8

No one went home, but there are definitely some celebrities who need to be worried, with Andy Richter and Corey Feldman both struggling in the judge’s scoring. The judges had Baron Davis in a massive tie just above them with Dylan Efron, Jordan Chiles, and Scott Hoying, but we don’t think he was even up to their levels. 

Honestly, we’d probably be most worried about Baron and Corey, if they don’t shape up their act a bit, unless the audience isn’t as charmed by Andy’s earnest sweetness as we are. Either way, with think those are the three who are going to need to really step up their games next week. We’ll see if they’re up for it!

Dancing with the Stars returns for a night of “One Hit Wonders” next Tuesday at 8 p.m. ET on ABC and Disney+.