The NFL teams already panicking, plus an MLB standings check

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Good morning! Don’t panic today. These teams have you covered.

Panic Buttons, Pressed: Time to worry, everyone

In the span of an NFL season, two games is nothing. A small sample size laughed at by other small sample sizes. We will look back at this period in eight weeks and chuckle at what we thought we knew. 

And yet, in keeping with a recent Pulse tradition, we are hitting fast-forward on the content machine. Last week, after one game, we gave out end-of-year awards. Today, we decide who’s already in full panic mode after two measly games. 

We’ll be right about some of them. It’s also a worthy snapshot of how some teams’ early goings have actually cratered confidence from both fans and pundits alike. Without further ado: 

We pressed our panic button because: September was mean to us again.
Hello, Cincinnati Bengals. In a season where margins were slim from the get-go thanks to a shoddy defense, losing preseason MVP favorite Joe Burrow to a turf-toe injury is just grim all around. The Bengals are still 2-0 after a 31-27 win over the Jaguars (who are a mess of their own), but losing Burrow for significant time feels like an unwinnable scenario. 

We pressed our panic button because: We thought we found our QB.
Woof, Minnesota. After a rousing Week 1 win over the Bears, J.J. McCarthy (158 yards passing with two interceptions) looked every bit of a first-year starter in last night’s humbling 22-6 loss at home to the Falcons. It’s early but last night was shaky.

We pressed it because: We thought we had our coach.
Say hi to the Bears again, because even after snagging the hottest coach on the market this offseason … this team looks like the same old Bears after an awful 52-21 blowout loss to the Lions. Everyone’s embarrassed, and Caleb Williams is not the clear target for outrage here. 

We pressed it because: This doesn’t happen to us.
Welcome to the club, Kansas City. A 20-17 loss to the Eagles in a Super Bowl rematch yesterday has the Chiefs at 0-2 this year, which does not compute in the modern era of Kansas City football. They haven’t been 0-2 since 2014. Is their three-year Super Bowl run in doubt? For now, I vote yes. 

Some honorable mention button-pressers: 

• We’re all getting fired: The Giants are 0-2 after a brutal overtime loss to the Cowboys yesterday. That already feels like a disaster.
  
• We’re probably fired, too: The Dolphins coaching staff has to be worried after another bad loss, this time to the Patriots, yesterday. What’s the way out here?
  
• They already don’t like me? The honeymoon phase is over for Aaron Glenn after a second straight loss to begin his tenure as Jets coach, this one a blowout loss to the Bills.  

We have plenty of games we missed from an excellent Sunday of football. See more takeaways, or watch our new game highlights from every matchup.

News to Know

Two college coaches axed
We’re big fans of the “two things can be true” axiom here at The Pulse, and yesterday’s shock college coach firings fit this philosophy perfectly. Both UCLA’s DeShaun Foster and Virigina Tech’s Brent Pry got fired yesterday, just three weeks into the season, which feels absurdly quick. And yet if you saw any of either’s year thus far, you know it’s warranted. Foster, a program legend as a player, fell to 0-3 in his second year in charge after an embarrassing 35-10 loss against New Mexico on Saturday. It was time to move on, already. 

In Blacksburg, it was somehow worse. The Hokies lost 45-26 against Old Dominion on Saturday to put Pry’s record in less than four seasons in charge at 16-24. Gotta wonder if they throw a bag of money at South Carolina’s Shane Beamer, whose last name is pretty famous around Tech’s campus.

More news

• Notre Dame is still in the AP Top 25 despite an 0-2 start. See the full rankings here.
  
• The NWSL match between Racing Louisville and the Seattle Reign was postponed after Racing midfielder Savannah DeMelo collapsed on the pitch. More details in our full report.
  
• Scottie Scheffler won the Procore Championship yesterday, his sixth victory in his last 12 starts. He’s playing a different sport.
  
• Tanzania’s Alphonce Felilx Simbu won the world marathon championship via an incredible photo finish. See it here.
  
• Browns QB Shedeur Sanders sidestepped questions about reports he didn’t want to play in Baltimore. Read his full comments.
  
• Shohei Ohtani and his agent filed a motion to dismiss a lawsuit over a $240 million Hawaii real estate development.
  
• Cal Raleigh tied Mickey Mantle for most home runs in one season for a switch hitter after smacking his 54th dinger yesterday. Big Dumper, baby.