“I hate your family.”
Seth Rollins lost his entire crew in one night. Keep reading to find out what happened to Paul Heyman and how that event led to Adam Pearce sending Bron Breakker & Bronson Reed out to the nearest Paris nightclub. That set the stage for Seth going solo into a big battle against three men who despise him almost as much as they want the World Heavyweight championship. And worst of all for the champ? He didn’t have to get pinned to lose the match. No champion’s advantage, no Vision for the Visionary, and a ring filled with men who want to kill him.
What on earth would he do?
Apparently, he’d do what any sane man would do when their boys can’t hold them down: call the wife.
The Fatal 4 Way morphed into a one-on-one for its final moments. Seth and CM Punk lied on the mat facing each other. Seth summoned all his hatred for Punk in that moment, telling the man that he hates him, hates his face, and his family. And as a result of all that very angry emotion, this was his moment to ensure Punk not only never wrestled for a championship again, but that he never wrestled again. Period.
I appreciated this immensely. It defies logic that these two will stay away from each other in any match. Tag team, Triple Threat, Fatal 4 Way, Mama Bagwell on a Pole, whatever. It’s always on sight for them. Once Seth realized it was just him and Punk together, that logic dictated that he would let his hatred consume him and go for broke. Like most instances when a wrestler lets their emotions rule them, it almost backfired on the man. Seth grabbed a chair outside the ring, stomped Jey Uso, who started coming to from a previous blow, and then stomped LA Knight, who wiped himself out when Seth just moved off the announce table during LA’s big elbow drop attempt.
The Architect went back inside the ring, set up the chair, and stuck Punk’s head in a place heads don’t belong. He went for a stomp and missed. I mean, he really missed. I loved the poetry of Seth possibly really injuring the knee he fake injured this summer.
In the end, that didn’t matter. Neither did Punk’s first Go to Sleep. The second one might’ve but we never got to it. Partially because of Becky Lynch, but mostly because Punk, like Seth before him, let his emotion get the better of him. Mr. Straight Edge spent way too much time savoring a presumed victory over Seth that he missed the real victory. His cockiness gave Becky more than enough time to hit the ring in all black and stick him where the sun doesn’t shine. A three count later, and Seth is still champ. The big news, however, is this is now a family affair.
Hm, is there anyone in Punk’s family he can call to lend him a hand?
Oh, right, his wife. This sets in motion her long rumored and often clamored for return. Even if it’s just for one night only. WWE is pulling out all the stops for their first PLE on the ESPN app, so adding AJ’s comeback to the list of said pulled stops makes Wrestlepalooza a very big deal.
Seth hates Punk’s whole family, which includes AJ. In about a month, we’ll find out how AJ plans on repaying WWE’s power couple for tormenting her husband and disrespecting their union on multiple occasions. Habitual line stepping can only go unpunished for so long.
“I hate your family.” Who knew five little words could mean so much?
First person who understands the connection between the song accompanying this section and Roman Reigns gets a salute from me in the comments. I mean, I don’t have actual gifts so forgive me for coming empty handed. But isn’t it the thought that counts?
Back to business, shall we? When I predicted a Roman Reigns win over Bronson Reed, I said I don’t agree with the call. I thought a Bronson win was the best longterm move for The Vision and the Samoan Aussie.
Roman and Bronson worked a match based on pure power; Bronson neutralizing Roman’s while Bronson was too powerful, at times, for Roman’s biggest moves. It started early with Roman’s Samoan Drop attempt falling flat on its face when the Tribal Chief collapsed trying to lift Bronson on his shoulders. The match followed that basic rhythm for most of its runtime; Bronson dominated for a bit, Roman found an opening, but the big man proved too big to conquer. My favorite moment in the match exemplified this. With Bronson rocking and looking like a steak dinner to a carnivore, Roman went for the spear. Bronson blocked it and in one swift move went from catching Roman in a headlock to putting him in a Sit Down Powerbomb. It was awesome. So much so that I don’t believe my words do it justice. It was a simple thing that said so much about the match and the two men wrestling.
But eventually, Bronson made a mistake.
That doesn’t happen if Bronson doesn’t go to the top rope one time too many. And Roman finally hitting the Samoan Drop on him was poetic. In fact, I would’ve ended the match with that although I understand the reasoning for the Spear. But given the last verbal exchange between them regarding Samoan heritage, I felt the Samoan Drop from the top rope was a fitting exclamation point.
That said, this wasn’t the big deal coming out of Clash’s opening match. After the match, Roman looked like the triumphant hero. He got his sneakers back from Paul E. Heyman, put his former Advocate in a Guillotine, and started autographing said sneakers for the crowd! Just when I wondered how much more value he added to some commonplace Air Jordan 1s, this happened:
That’s when the chaos truly took control. This was a perfect way to write off Roman while he goes to fight in a few streets for a while. He took umpteen Tsunamis, a couple spears, and even took one of those Tsunamis while strapped to the stretcher! Bronson & Bron looked like total monsters. They not only repaid Roman for all of his deeds to them, but also got him back for taking out Paul.
If I have one complaint, it’s that Jey Uso showed up a bit too late. And that’s not a creative complaint; it’s a human one! Dude, your blood, which you say you value more than anything, was getting decimated outside and inside the ring. It took you far too long to intervene. What kind of cousin are you? Psh, you deserved to walk into the main event with the DDP tape across your ribs.
This did wonders for The Vision and I can’t wait to see the follow up. For a stable that hasn’t always rocked my world outside of that first moment they came together, this was an interesting and fun event for them.
And to think it might not be possible if Roman wasn’t playing Akuma. Go figure.
- There was a moment during Becky Lynch vs. Nikki Bella where they were clearly on different pages. Nikki went to the top rope, she went for a move, Becky wasn’t there, and Nikki ate the mat but ad-libbed her way into a hurt knee. That timing aside, this was a solid affair. I liked the viciousness Nikki showed towards the end when she bashed Becky’s skull into the ring post several times. I actually wanted more of that considering how personal these two got the last few weeks. They also protected Nikki a bit with Becky using the “Lynchpin” for the victory out of nowhere despite Nikki looking like she owned the driver’s seat. Not much to write home about, despite the fact I’m writing about it, but it was a nice showing that reinforced Becky’s heel champ status. And, if they so choose, provides a nice avenue for a rematch.
- The Street Profits’ Borderlands outfits were the coolest part of the tag team match. I didn’t dislike it but I also thought it was perfectly appropriate for a random Friday night in Paris, Texas rather than a Sunday evening in Paris, France. The Profits can say the rest of the Wyatts gave Dexter Lumis & Joe Gacy a very heavy upper hand. Well, actually, they can just say they cheated. That means this story might go on, which might produce a more compelling match.
- Side note: Something isn’t “iconic” just because you call it that, Wade Barrett. It becomes that over time. Okay, my mini rant about the overuse of this word is over.
- While the tag match felt built for Fridays, Sheamus and Rusev put on a match worthy of the event. This was a fight. I don’t know what else to say. They destroyed each other with every piece of plunder sitting ringside. Rusev finally ended it with the three-piece combo of a shillelagh across Sheamus’ back, an Accolade, and putting that broken shillelagh piece in Sheamus’ mouth as he pulled back on his spine. The Irishman had no choice but to tap. According to Michael Cole, this was only the second time in Sheamus’ career that he tapped out of anything. The second. That’s a huge stat and makes this a very big deal for Rusev. Hopefully that type of victory, along with the match itself, is a good sign for Rusev. The Paris crowd greeted him to deafening silence but he won them over through violence once the match ensued. If you can’t get a bunch of people on your side after not just raising the bar, but slamming a man through the bar, then there’s no hope for this world.
- Yes, they spammed a lot of finishers. Yes, it went a tad too long for me. But John Cena and Logan Paul put on a show. Narratively, I can even excuse the spamming. John said Logan wasn’t ready for this match, nor was he really a pro wrestler. Logan withstanding all three Attitude Adjustments showed just how much Logan wants this. Despite his arrogance and braggadocio, Logan wants John’s respect. He needs it like we all need oxygen. Unless you’re Aquaman or a common Atlantean. And to that point, WWE’s GOAT pulled out moves he’s either never done or hasn’t done in years. A Styles Clash. A Code Breaker. An Angel’s Wings! Oh, and that top rope Spinning DDT. John’s point to prove was just as big as Logan’s, if not bigger. He wasn’t the washed up cat doing the same five moves for 20 plus years. He showed his evolution, as did Logan. So it’s fitting that Logan’s true downfall came when he tried copying John and mocking those five moves. He set John up for a Five Knuckle Shuffle, but didn’t connect because I could’ve did my taxes in the time it took him to execute. Way too much arrogance. That didn’t close the door on the match but it gave John the momentum that he never really released. Even when Logan hit him with that loaded fist, Johnny bounced off the middle rope and used that momentum to set up the fourth and final Attitude Adjustment. Hell of a match despite the length. My personal feelings on Logan aside, the man knows what he’s doing in that ring. Props to both men. Although, Logan’s Buckshot Lariat needs a little work. Nobody’s perfect.
Clash in Paris was a bit long, but I enjoyed it for the most part. The opening match and main event were nice bookends that fed into each other and set the stage for something bigger down the line.
What say you, Cagesiders?
Source link
