Somewhere in Tallahassee, at the turn of the millennia, a young Byron Donalds stood in the parking lot of his local Cracker Barrel — then his place of employment — and contemplated the man atop the wood-and-whimsy pancake palace. It was in that moment, staring into the gold and brown face helming the performatively old-timey interstate eatery, that a future congressman decided to give himself to Christ.
That may not be exactly how it happened, but Donalds came forward with his story of religious epiphany in a Cracker Barrel parking lot amid MAGA outrage over the chain restaurant’s decision to change its logo, removing the image of “Uncle Herschel” and his barrel.
“In college, I worked at @CrackerBarrel in Tallahassee. I even gave my life to Christ in their parking lot,” he wrote. “Their logo was iconic and their unique restaurants were a fixture of American culture. No one asked for this woke rebrand. It’s time to Make Cracker Barrel Great Again 🇺🇸”
There is no indication that Cracker Barrel’s decision to simplify its logo was motivated by politics or “wokeness.” If anything, the company has been struggling for years to market its perfectly mediocre food and boomer nostalgia-themed ambiance to anyone but the remaining population of baby boomers, or those in urgent need of a bathroom during their long drives. A rebrand was long overdue. But Republicans are reacting to the marketing decision as if old Uncle Herschel — the uncle of founder Dan Evins — had been taken out back and shot in the name of DEI.
“WTF is wrong with @CrackerBarrel??!” Donald Trump Jr. wrote on X. MAGA country musician John Rich asked his followers if they would “go to Cracker Barrel now that it’s going woke? This could be a ‘Bud Light’ moment in the making.”
Right-wing actor James Woods posted that on cross-country drives, “Cracker Barrel was the only place I’d ever stop. No mob fights, a fun corny atmosphere, and delicious food when you’re hungry and tired. I’ll never stop foot in one again.”
Professional anti-woke troll Christopher Rufo declared that “we must break the Barrel. It’s not about this particular restaurant chain — who cares — but about creating massive pressure against companies that are considering any move that might appear to be ‘wokification.’”
In effect, Rufo openly acknowledged that while there may be no actual indicator of the restaurant chain’s motivation, the delusions of right-wingers triggered by the redrawing of a corporate logo or the redesign of a candy mascot are grounds for punishment. And, to that end, Cracker Barrel’s already flailing stock took a dip on Thursday as conservatives fumed at the company.
For some reason, the Democratic National Committee got in on the act. “We think the Cracker Barrel rebrand sucks too,” wrote the DNC, amid the total collapse of its own brand.
Even more bizarre, for some Republican influencers, the meltdown over Uncle Herschel’s PR demise took a turn for the sexual. TPUSA Founder Charlie Kirk posted an image comparing the original logo to new MAGA favorite and universally-acknowledged-hot-actress Sydney Sweeney, and the redesign to a plus-sized woman.
“Accurate” Kirk wrote. Is the implication that Kirk found the image of Herschel to be hotter?
Perhaps the appeal of Cracker Barrel was not the peg game, the rocking chairs on the front porch, or the subpar biscuits and gravy, but the coy gaze of Herschel — apparently a Christlike figure watching the MAGA cult from his perch above the freeway — inviting one inside.
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