Remember during the ’08 campaign when the traditional media tried spinning the line that Obama was too young and wet-behind-the-huge-ears to be president? I laughed, knowing that his accomplished POTUSmates in the 40-something clubincludeTeddy Roosevelt, James K. Polk, John F. Kennedy, and Bill Clinton. Besides, a quick check of the highlights of his birth year, 1961, is enough to make your bones feel a bit creaky:
✓None of the James Bond movies had been released;West SideStorywon the Oscar for Best Picture
✓John F. Kennedy was sworn in as the 35th president—Obama is #44
✓The Grammy for best Rock & Roll recording: Chubby Checker, “Let’s Twist Again”; Best R&B recording: Ray Charles, “Hit the Road Jack”
✓The Dow Jones Industrials reached a high of…734.
✓Median price of a new home: $17,200
✓Harper Lee won a Pulitzer forTo Kill A Mockingbird
✓East Germanyreplaced its barbed wire barricades with a permanent wall dividingBerlin
✓The Emmy for outstanding news program went toThe Huntley-Brinkley Report
✓Roger Maris hit 61 home runs, breaking Babe Ruth’s single-season record
✓The price of a gallon of gas: 31 cents.
Certain policy and strategy differences aside, I consider Obama one of the greatest embodiments of what the U.S. presidency should be, and I’m ready to be adopted as soon as he and Michelle submit the paperwork. (What istakingso long???) So Happy 64th Birthday, Mr. President…and many blessings on your Marxist socialist Muslim Jade Helm Benghazi tan-suit-wearing Nicorette-chewing camels.
And now, our feature presentation…
Cheers and Jeers for Monday, August 4, 2025
Note:Great news! Over the weekend we swapped out the rusty old forks in the C&J cafeteria for shiny new ones. Yes…the tines, they are a-changin’.
JEERS to one really shitty magic trick. Ladies and gentlemen, let’s watch as The Great Trumpolini performs his most daring and audacious sleight of hand ever. First, take a look at the sorry-ass job numbers for July, along with the sorry-ass revised numbers for June and May:
July: 73,000 jobs…versus 118,000 expected
June: 14,000…revised down from 114,000
May: 19,000…revised down from 147,000
And now The Great Trumpolini will wave his magic wand over the jobs numbers, fire the statistician who announced (but didn’t compile) them, and PRESTO CHANGE-O ALACAZAM!!! [Poof!!!] Look at those jobs numbers now:
July: 73,000 jobs…versus 118,000 expected
June: 14,000…revised down from 114,000
May: 19,000…revised down from 147,000
I’ve just been handed this message on a 3-by-5 card from The Great Trumpolini: “Everybody applaud. Or else.”
CHEERS to today’s edition of Oh, Wait, Look Over There!Epstein Files Coverup! Epstein Files Coverup! Epstein Files Coverup! Epstein Files Coverup! Epstein Files Coverup! Oh, wait, look over there!
Federal officials are investigating former special counsel Jack Smith after President Donald Trump and other prominent Republicans have alleged that his investigations into then-candidate Trump amounted to illegal political activity.
Trump and his allies have not presented specific evidence of wrongdoing.
This has been today’s edition of Oh, Wait, Look Over There! We now return you to our regularly-scheduled Epstein Files Coverup! Epstein Files Coverup! Epstein Files Coverup! Epstein Files Coverup! Epstein Files Coverup!
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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CHEERSto great moments in human dampness. During this week in1926, Gertrude Ederle became the first American woman to swim theEnglish Channel. It took her 14½ hours. Know why? Because she kept stopping to check her makeup! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!This misogynist message brought to you by the National Consortium of Republican-Controlled State Legislatures, whose members just snorted milk out their noses.
CHEERSto blowing this popsicle stand. With the dog days of August here, I thought I’d head over to NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory site and see what’ll be happenin’ up yonder this month as we drift down the nearest lazy river at night takin’ in the starshine and other celestial what-nots. This month’s big events including an appearance by the Dumbbell Nebula and some hot planet-on-planet action. Here’s NASA’s Chelsea Gohd with a preview:
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This month’s full “sturgeon” moon is this Saturday. Don’t forget to go outside, think of Neil Armstrong, and wink at the full moon, followed by the tradition August post-wink mantra: “Ouch—f*cking mosquitoes.”
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Ten years ago in C&J: August 4, 2015
CHEERSto boarding the peace train. The jockeying over the Iran nuclear agreement continues. While Republicans reflexively shout “No!” from their summer cottages inside Benjamin Netanyahu’s butt, Democrats are being a bit more thoughtful about it. California Congressman Adam Schiff—one of the more influential voices on this issue as ranking Democrat on the House Intelligence Committee—has looked it over, kicked the tires centrifuges and, according to Jeffrey Goldberg at The Atlantic, given it thumbs-up:
[T]he final deal has materialized, and Schiff, in a telephone call over the weekend, told me that, based on an “extensive review,” he has decided to come out in favor of the deal. His decision should carry some weight with national security-minded Democrats, and with still-undecided members of the House Jewish caucus. […]
“At the end of the day, I could not find an alternative that would turn out in a better way than the deal,” he said. “Rejection of the deal would not lead to something credible. And I think that there are enough ways to mitigate the risks associated with the deal that it makes sense to me to move forward.”
Naturally, the military-industrial complex is very upset with Schiff. When they heard of his decision, they immediately un-invited him from carrying the American flag at the Bunker Buster Olympics.
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And just one more…
CHEERSto the cranky old scribe. I can’t say I’ve read much Gore Vidal (my loss, I admit), but I know he gave conservatives fits and his Sassoon line of hair care products is top notch, so that’s good enough for me. When he expired a baker’s dozen years ago at 86, he’d lived a good long life and left a legacy that will keep us going back to his intellectual well for a good long time. Here’s a smattering of vital Vidal:
“Style is knowing who you are, what you want to say, and not giving a damn.” – “The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so.” – “The United States was founded by the brightest people in the country—and we haven’t seen them since.”
Possessor of one the smarter brains among our species.
– “A good deed never goes unpunished.” – “You know, I’ve been around the ruling class all my life, and I’ve been quite aware of their total contempt for the people of the country.” – “In writing and politicking, it’s best not to think about it, just do it.” – “Liberalcomes from the Latin liberalis, which means pertaining to a free man. In politics, to be liberal is to want to extend democracy through change and reform. One can see why that word had to be erased from our political lexicon.” – “The Republican Party is fundamentally crooked and might well be outlawed one of these days.”
His lips to God’s ears. And I hope Bill Buckley’s within earshot.
Have a tolerable Monday. Floor’s open…What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today’s Shameless C&J Testimonial
“I love Cheers and Jeers. I love pretending to be Bill in PortlandMaine. And he still needs old people to play him.”
