Mayci Neeley’s memoir, “Told You So,” comes out Tuesday.
(Simon & Schuster) The cover of Mayci Neeley’s debut book, “Told You So.”
On “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives,” the masses get to know Mayci Neeley as one of the “saints” — a moniker that refers to the more devout members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints from the MomTok influencer group.
That’s not exactly how she sees herself, though.
“I wouldn’t consider myself, like, a saint, by any means,” she said. “That reflection on the show is kind of funny to me, because I definitely have a past that wouldn’t give ‘saint.’”
It’s that past — and some of the present — that Neeley gets into in her debut book, a memoir called “Told You So,” that will be released from Simon & Schuster on Tuesday.
In the memoir, Neeley works with another writer, according to a representative from her publisher, to revisit old journal entries. Those, along with content from her blog, shape the narrative.
Readers get a first-hand account of Neeley’s life — from high school in California all the way through her five years at Brigham Young University, the church’s flagship school, where she was a student from 2013-2018.
Among stories of partying and navigating college life, Neeley also explores the constraints and expectations she has grappled with when it comes to her faith.
On the first page of chapter two, for example, she’s at a “Mormon dance party” contemplating dancing with an 18-year-old, but instead she initiates a group dance because she doesn’t “bend the rules” as a 15-year-old. Historically, church guidance has said Latter-day Saints shouldn’t date until 16.
“I’m not a rule-breaker, but I’ve always been intrigued by things that are off-limits in part because I’ve never been told the reasoning behind a lot of Mormon rules,” she writes. “Why is a girl who has sex outside of marriage considered a slut when a guy can get away with it? Why can’t Mormons drink coffee when it’s made from beans but soda is OK when it’s artificial?”
‘Why I am the way I am’
Through recounting the events that have shaped her into who she is today, Neeley hopes to help people “get to know me better” and understand “why I am the way that I am.”
Fans of Neeley might know what to expect since she’s shared a lot of her past on her blog.
“I always say this to everyone, ‘I’m an open book,’” she said. “I feel like I have no issues writing about anything that’s on my mind or anything that’s vulnerable.”
That vulnerability is raw on the pages of “Told You So” as she revisits the different phases and experiences of her life.
She writes about her relationship with her son’s father, Arik Mack, who died in a car crash in Spanish Fork Canyon in 2015 when Neeley was pregnant. The story is touched upon in Season 2 of “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives,” when Neeley visits the site of the crash with Mikayla Matthews and leaves behind a flower and letter for Mack.
On staying faithful, despite challenges
“Told You So” doesn’t shy away from the darker moments in Neeley’s life, traversing such topics as cheating, suicidal ideation, alleged sexual and physical abuse and being depressed while pregnant.
Neeley recounts a difficult conversation she had with a bishop and how it could have shaken her faith. She credits her parents with helping her remain faithful.
“I was just raised to have thick skin and not let people’s words affect me,” she said. “Sometimes when I look back at it, I was in there to try to become more spiritual again … I think if I didn’t have such thick skin, I probably would have left the church for good in that moment.”
Neeley also notes when she became pregnant and went back home, the staff at BYU encouraged her to come back and treated her with compassion.
As the youngest in her family, hearing the words “told you so” was common for Neeley.
“That was kind of why I chose the title, ‘Told You So,’ because the book is almost kind of a lesson to myself as well. Things were kind of s—ty when I didn’t listen,” Neeley said. “But also, I’m someone who has to learn from their experience.”
Neeley will conclude her four-stop book tour with an event hosted by The King’s English at the Utah Museum of Fine Arts in Salt Lake City on Friday at 7 p.m. She will be in conversation with co-star Jessi Draper Ngatikaura. Tickets are available for purchase on Eventbrite.
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