Let’s play a game. You’re Zombie Connie Mack. Let’s assume, for the sake of this exercise, that your nearly 70 years in the afterlife has given you an innate grasp of modern analytics, air travel, nutrition and a deep understanding of the collective psyche of Gen Z. They even told you about the version of WAR that doesn’t involve Roman numerals at the end.
You’re back, baby, and for some inexplicable reason, you want to dust off the straw porkpie hat and manage in the big leagues again.
There are currently at least seven — and maybe as many as nine — managerial jobs available for the 2026 season:
Current vacancies:
Atlanta Braves
Baltimore Orioles
Los Angeles Angels
Minnesota Twins
San Francisco GiantsTexas RangersWashington Nationals
Might be vacant soon:Colorado RockiesHouston Astros
And they all want you. The first zombie manager in MLB history (assuming we’re not counting Tony La Russa’s last year with the White Sox).
Which one is the best situation? Which one is the worst? Well, Mr. Mack, sir: I’m here to help. Let’s rank these jobs from most to least desirable for a prospective manager (zombie or otherwise).
1. San Francisco Giants
At one point in 2025, the Giants had the best record in baseball. Their pitching wasn’t bad (10th best team ERA), until it was (7th most runs allowed in September), and their hitting … well, it underperformed, ranking 17th out of 30 teams in runs scored (though they did seem to rediscover the “hit-home-run” button on the controller over the last month). You’ll have Rafael Devers, Matt Chapman and a 6-7 power bomber first base prospect (Bryce Eldridge). Plus, Willy Adames just became the first Giant to hit 30 home runs since Barry Bonds. So getting that sorted out is your job. The park is lovely, the president of baseball operations knows ball (and is a very motivated competitor).
The downside? You’re in a division with the Dodgers (and Padres, and Diamondbacks). The upside? You beat these Dodgers, and finally — finally — you, Connie Mack, will be recognized as a truly great manager.
2. Baltimore Orioles
While we’re talking about underperformance, how about that Baltimore lineup, eh? Gunnar Henderson, Jackson Holliday, Adley Rutschman, Colton Cowser, Coby Mayo and catching prospect Samuel Basallo await you. Your pitching staff endured a lot of injuries last year, but when Grayson Rodriguez, Kyle Bradish, Dean Kremer, Cade Povich, Trevor Rogers and Tyler Wells are all healthy, you have the makings of a good rotation. As recently as spring training, your team was poised to finally have that “all the kids are hitting their prime” year. Instead, they went 75-87. Surely you can do better than that, right? With new team ownership looking to succeed, you should have a roster built with a bit more financial investment than your predecessor had.
President of baseball operations Mike Elias said earlier this week that they’ll be conducting a full search, with interim skipper Tony Mansolino receiving consideration.
3. Atlanta Braves
Speaking of injuries, the fragile nature of the human body really wrecked Brian Snitker’s swan song. And there’s really no guarantee that Ronald Acuña Jr. will ever be a candidate to play all 162 games. But after a rough start to his comeback from Tommy John, Spencer Strider posted a 2.79 ERA in September. Throw in Chris Sale, Spencer Schwellenbach, Grant Holmes, Hurston Waldrep and AJ Smith-Shawver once he returns from his own TJ surgery, and you’re looking pretty good there. Plus, you have NL Rookie of the year candidate Drake Baldwin. You should have a few years of success before the rebuild comes.
4. Washington Nationals
Look, if you take this job, you’re probably not winning the 2026 World Series. But if you want a job that gives you a hand in shaping the development of an exciting core of young players, this one ranks right up there with the Orioles. Dylan Crews will be better than his 0.4 bWAR 2025 season. C.J. Abrams and James Wood could be legitimate stars (even if the latter did avoid the all-time single-season strikeout record this year by just two, at 221). On the horizon: Seaver King, Travis Sykora, Brady House and others.
You also have an exciting new president of baseball operations, and hey, the last guy (Dave Martinez) got five-plus losing seasons after his World Series win before ownership decided to cut ties.
Well… actually, that was the last full-time guy. Technically the last guy was interim manager Miguel Cairo, who is twisting in the wind until we find out whether or not they’ll bring him back.
5. Texas Rangers
They won the World Series in 2023, and have spent the last two years underperforming. You have star power, with Corey Seager, Marcus Semien, Jacob deGrom and Nathan Eovaldi on the roster, plus some pretty exciting youngsters in Jack Leiter, Evan Carter and Wyatt Langford. Sebastian Walcott isn’t far from the big leagues, either. Your president of baseball operations is a former player with a big competitive streak, and the stadium — while severely lacking in good ol’ classic baseball vibes — is at least as state-of-the-art as they come. The downside? Financial uncertainty was one of the reasons given for Bruce Bochy and the team mutually agreeing to part ways. That rebuild might be coming sooner, rather than later.
6. Houston Astros
Speaking of rebuilds … The Astros made the postseason nine out of 10 years between 2015-2024, winning two World Series titles along the way. You have your faces of the franchise in Jose Altuve, Carlos Correa, Jeremy Peña and Yordan Alvarez, with one of the best young pitchers in the game (Hunter Brown) anchoring a rotation that uh … well, at least you have an anchor. But you might need to build a ship around him. And Altuve will be 36 next year, while Correa is an old 31, given his injury history. Your closer is, at least, locked in for the next three years (he is also 31).
Joe Espada is still the Astros manager, but hasn’t been given much of a vote of confidence in that role since the season ended. (Troy Taormina / Imagn Images)
Owner Jim Crane appears dedicated to keeping the window of contention open forever, but you did miss the playoffs with a late-season collapse in 2025, and it’s not exactly like ownership and management have always had the most functional relationship — Jim Crane parted ways with a GM just weeks after the team’s last World Series title.
Ah well. The job might not even be open anyway.
7. Minnesota Twins
If none of those opportunities seem to fit what you’re looking for, maybe you’re looking for a team with a budget that more closely resembles your Philadelphia A’s? The Twins are for sale. Except no, they’re not. They made the playoffs, and celebrated by diminishing the budget one year, and buying a lot of one-way tickets for their players the next. You still have Byron Buxton and — for now — Joe Ryan and Pablo López. And Luke Keaschall is exciting, with Walter Jenkins on the way. So if you plan to live to — how does zombie age work, anyway? Do you pick it back up at age 93, or are you going to be 163 next year? Either way, you will not be a young man when the Minnesota Twins are World Series contenders again.
8. Colorado Rockies
They call Denver the Mile High City, but the bar is buried at roughly sea level. The last time the Rockies had a winning season was 2018. They just set a new record for worst run differential at -424. It’s not entirely certain that interim manager Warren Schaeffer won’t return — we don’t know, because their GM’s office number is going straight to voicem— Oh, right. Also, it might be hard to convince free agents to sign there, given the org’s reputation around the league.
The reason to take this job — beyond just “it’s a big-league manager job” and that you can live in Colorado — is that you will have job security. Bud Black had two winning seasons, then stuck around for another six-plus seasons until — finally — 7-33 to start the 2025 season was just too much.
9. Los Angeles Angels
I’m not sure how the afterlife works, but this one might have some appeal if you’re readjusting to this mortal coil and need some familiar surroundings. On one hand: “Angels”. On the other…
- Your third baseman is owed more than $37 million next year. Over the first six years of his contract, he has played 257 out of 870 possible games, hitting .242 (.717 OPS) with 22 home runs.
- Your biggest star … well, OK the biggest one in recent years is playing in (actual) Los Angeles, but the second-biggest star of this era (Mike Trout) just played 130 games for the first time since 2019, and … had a career-worst season.
- Every trade deadline is a perplexing adventure. (Seriously, click those last two links back-to-back).
- Draft day is also unpredictable.
- The explanations from the front office are sometimes the most inscrutable part.
- They have a bizarre travel schedule that frustrates literally everyone.
- They don’t actually play in Los Angeles, they play in Anaheim. That’s not necessarily bad, but despite the mayor’s attempts at a better relationship, they appear to have a permanent longing gaze to the west, ignoring the community they’re in.
- There’s a tendency to rush guys to the big leagues and then misuse them once they get there.
- The last guy just wanted to talk with the owner, but didn’t get to. Actually, the owner is not particularly keen on showing up for conversations.
- Actually, it might be tricky to get anyone to return your calls.
The good news for you: they appear to already have someone else in mind.
(Top photo of former Braves manager Brian Snitker: Kelley L Cox/Getty Images)
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