Nicole Kidman’s hidden heartbreak: How actress’s strained relationship with her eldest children who lived with Tom Cruise and refuse to call her ‘mum’ will make custody of Sunday and Faith even more important

Nicole Kidman has always been close with her children – so perhaps few would have been surprised to see that she will become the primary residential parent of her daughters Sunday Rose, 17, and Faith Margaret, 14, amid her divorce from Keith Urban.

It’s possible that the move, shown in court documents obtained by Daily Mail, comes following a famously turbulent divorce from Tom Cruise in the 2000s, which saw their kids opting to live with their father.

The Australian star, 58, shares Connor, 30, and Bella, 32, with her ex-husband, with the pair adopting them in the early nineties.

Throughout her relationship, the family were often pictured together, but following her split from the Top Gun star in 2001 – while joint custody was given to the parents – adopted children reportedly remained ‘loyal to their father’, meaning they were raised in the controversial church of Scientology.

The Big Little Lies star has refused to talk about the religion or her family ties in recent years but is said to have been absent from many of her children’s life events including Bella’s wedding at the Dorchester hotel in London in September 2015, despite her living in the city and starring in the West End at the same time.

In 2018, she made a rare statement on the topic, telling Who: ‘They are adults. They are able to make their own decisions. They have made choices to be Scientologists and as a mother, it’s my job to love them.

‘And I am an example of that tolerance and that’s what I believe – that no matter what your child does, the child has love and the child has to know there is available love and I’m open here.’

She added: ‘I have to protect those relationships. I know 150 per cent that I would give up my life for my children because it’s what my purpose is.

Nicole hasn’t been pictured publicly with her eldest two children since 2007, and she was also reportedly left ‘devastated’ after the pair didn’t attend her father’s funeral in 2014.

But despite a reported rift between Nicole and her eldest children – something Connor and Bella deny – the actress has previously spoken of her ‘unconditional’ love for the kids, in light of their ‘choices to be Scientologists’.

The A-list couple adopted Connor and Isabella in the early 1990s after Nicole suffered an ectopic pregnancy and a miscarriage – and was told as a result she might find it hard to conceive.

She previously opened up in an interview with Tatler about her fertility issues with Cruise, and how she felt a ‘yearning’ for children.

In 2018 when accepting her Best Actress Golden Globe, the Nine Perfect Strangers star thanked her biological daughters and second husband Keith Urban – but didn’t mention Connor or Bella.

Scientology appears to be the root of much of the divide in the family, with Tom allegedly banning Nicole from Connor’s 2019 wedding to another high-ranking scientologist.

‘Tom is behind this and what he wants is as good as law,’ a source  told RadarOnline.com at the time. ‘Tom made the call and Connor followed.’

Connor, a former DJ who is now into deep sea fishing, ‘worships the ground his father walks on’ the source added, claiming he would never disobey the actor.

In 2010, Nicole said she wished her kids lived with her and three years prior, in 2007, Nicole said her adopted children had even stopped calling her ‘Mum’, sparking rumours their relationship was strained.

‘My kids don’t call me mommy, they don’t even call me mom. They call me Nicole, which I hate and tell them off for it,’ she remarked.

Those rumours were fuelled further later on, when she spoke publicly about the kids – who are both committed Scientologists along with their father – choosing to live with Cruise.

The actress has previously insisted she does keep in contact with Connor and Bella, despite them choosing to live with Cruise when they split.

‘They live with Tom, which was their choice,’ she said. ‘I’d love them to live with us, but what can you do?’

She added to E! News: ‘Everybody has their own path and when they find their path it’s such a relief as a parent.’

The last time she was photographed with Connor in public was at the Annual Kids’ Choice Awards in Los Angeles in 2007, when he was just 13.

However, the family deny that relations are strained.

In 2014, Nicole told Woman’s Weekly that her eldest are ‘generous, kind and hardworking. And these are traits that I love to see in my children’.

At the time she also described her film Lion – where she plays an adoptive mother – as a ‘love letter’ to her children. 

In the same year, Connor also said: ‘I don’t care what people say. I know that me and mum are solid. I love her a lot. My family means everything,’ he said.

Speaking to the Daily Mail in 2016, Bella had also said: ‘Of course [we talk], they’re my parents,’ she says. ‘Anyone who says otherwise is full of s**t.

In 2012 she told New Idea: ‘I love mom. [Nicole’s] my mom. She’s great. I see her sometimes and I speak to her,’ adding ‘we’re a very close family. I love all of our family.’ 

Meanwhile, Nicole is rumoured to blame Scientology for ruining her marriage and separating her from Connor and Bella.

In her book Troublemaker: Surviving Hollywood and Scientology, ex-Scientology member Leah Remini claimed that Nicole was labelled a “suppressive person” or “SP” by the church after leaving.

The Insider reportedly told Radar, ‘First, Tom would never even consider inviting Nicole to Connor’s wedding because she’s considered a “suppressive person” by the church – and, second, he doesn’t want her there’.

It come following reports that Nicole and Keith Urban have agreed to an unusual parenting plan in which the actress gets 306 days while her ex-husband receives just 59.

Keith will have the kids from 10am on Saturdays to 6pm on Sundays every other weekend, while Nicole will care for them the rest of the time. 

The estranged couple have also divvied up the special occasions they will each spend with their daughters: Nicole will have them on Mother’s Day and Easter, while Keith will get them on Father’s Day and Thanksgiving.    

Elsewhere, the document specifies that Nicole and Keith will make major decisions regarding their daughters together, including educational and extracurricular activities.

Neither party will receive monthly child support as Keith has ‘already prepaid all child support obligations’. 

Despite the divorce, both stars will still ‘provide a loving, stable, consistent and nurturing relationship with the children.’

Both also must not ‘speak badly of each other’ or about other family members.

The former couple will ‘encourage’ their children to ‘love the other parent and be comfortable in both families.’ 

The stars are also required to take a ‘mandated parenting seminar’ within 60 days of the divorce filing. 

The notarised parenting plan was signed by the Oscar winner on September 6, while her estranged husband signed on August 29, a few days earlier.

The former couple have waived both child and spousal support, and agreed to split court costs evenly.

Nicole filed for divorce from Keith on Tuesday after 19 years of marriage, citing irreconcilable differences.

The exes have been kept apart of late amid their hectic filming and touring schedules – with an insider previously telling the Daily Mail Kidman was left ‘blindsided’ by the split.

A source told the Daily Mail there is speculation Keith has already moved on with a younger woman in the music industry. 

The well-placed Nashville music business PR source said: ‘The rumor is that he’s with a younger woman in the business. It’s all everyone is talking about. Everyone wants to know who, but so far, that’s a mystery.’ 

The Daily Mail has contacted representatives for Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban for comment and has yet to hear back. 

The Australian actress and country singer were last seen together publicly in June this year, when they were pictured attending a FIFA World Cup match in Nashville, Tennessee.

The musician has been away for much of the year on his High and Alive World Tour. He is due to perform in Hershey, Pennsylvania on Thursday.

Nicole and the children, meanwhile, have remained in Nashville, where the couple own a $4million compound.

In July, he dropped a hint that all was not well between the pair when he dramatically hung up during a phone interview with a radio station after a crude question about Nicole’s raunchy recent scenes, such as in her movies Babygirl and A Family Affair.

For her part, and while promoting her Netflix series The Perfect Couple back in September last year, she admitted there was no such thing as a ‘perfect’ marriage.

‘There’s no perfect anything,’ she said, ‘anything that’s presented as perfect… forget it.’ 

Earlier that year, the star said she was ‘so lucky’ to have met the singer.

‘I’m so lucky that I have Keith who’s just my love, my deep, deep love,’ she told People magazine. ‘That gives me the ability to go and do whatever I have to do because I know where I can come back.’